The Book I'm Writing

Life is like a good book. There are different chapters, transitions, cliff hangers and climaxes ;  )). There are so many interesting characters, some stay for a long time while others pop in and then their gone.

But with every dip and turn, with every unexpected plot twist... one thing is always certain. Each and every element of the story is there to teach us, to stretch us, to push us beyond what we believed ourselves to be capable of.

And in the end when the last pages are turning, we are changed. We leave with a new depth and understanding of why we had to go to those places we were the most afraid to go.

And we are grateful!

That's what I think of when circumstances threaten to turn me inside out, when I feel afraid or unsure. I think of this book I live inside with it's worn pages and it's beautiful old paper smell, this book who is always on my side because I am the main character. I am the one for whom all readers are rooting for.

And I am living in the lines of this story for one purpose... to overcome!!!
To slay the dragon, to persist beyond all measures and to find my true love (who turns out was really me all along).

I love this story...this story which makes my heart bleed and scares me, this story that sometimes haunts me, that makes me think and question, the one I cry happy tears through and savor the sweet victories.

And during those times when I am dying to know what happens next or how something will work out, I think of how it feels to close a good book, knowing how it all ends. I remember how I want to crawl back inside that lovely story and rejoin the not knowing, and I have peace and sweet satisfaction...

Satisfaction that I am where I am, living this adventure, breathing these pages of which so many are still unwritten.

Loving Life,

Big Momma Payne

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Body Paint and other Shenanigans

Thursday

So, today was officially Art Day!

I dropped both the kids off at school and headed to the craft store for a new canvas. With a hefty $85 price tag for the one I wanted (yes, I wanted the biggest canvas in the store), I knew I needed to get a little creative. So I scrapped that idea and went next door to the hardware store for a drop cloth.

It was liberating...jamming out to music splattering paint everywhere, no children in sight.

When the kiddos came home they wanted in on the action. So, later that afternoon I dragged out the water colors. Aiden was totally irritated that he couldn't get the exact shade of red he was wanting. After explaining that we either find joy in painting or we do not paint at all...

Well, ladies and gentlemen, the boy found joy!

So much joy in fact, he had to wash all of it off in the yard with the garden hose.

He was so funny! He kept asking me if he could hide from animals now. Pretty sure he was going for some intense camouflage.

For two seconds, as brown paint dripped from his tummy, I thought about dolling out the lecture about only painting on the paper. Then I thought, Why??? What does it really matter if the kid is painted head to toe in water colors? If his chosen medium is skin instead of paper?

Isn't this the exact thing I am trying to teach him? To color outside the lines? To think outside the box? To be his own person?

There is so much more to life than doing what's expected! So let go of expectations and see how colorful life becomes!

Love,

Big Momma Payne

Note: The words on my painting are from Pete Murray's Song Possibility

& 

Even though Aiden had a blast painting himself happy, he also knows momma draws the line at painting the walls.

(Although I have no problem what so ever with covering entire walls with $9 drop cloths painted to your heart's content ;  ))

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Rattlesnakes, Rats and Decomposing Fowl...OH MY!!!

Well, I think we can say it...we're not in Kansas anymore or Oklahoma for that matter. We weren't carried off in a giant tornado, although being from Oklahoma that might pass as believable. No, we were swept away in the GREAT RELOCATION of 2010
          10
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(Yes, it echoes when I say it.)
and we landed right in the center of Critterville. The desert is full of the strange and bizarre. And no, that's not because I live here now...being the best of both of those ; 0

I think we've just about seen all of the desert critters: Tarantulas, snakes, geckos (which live in the walls of our house), coyotes, jack rabbits (which Aiden identified as a kangaroo a couple of days ago...HA! that's how big they are), and scorpions. I thought I was becoming accustomed to sharing this amazing landscape with our not so accommodating beady-eyed neighbors but this afternoon's encounter put me to the test.

"Eeewww!!! What's that smell?" Aiden covered his face and moved his breakfast plate to the other side of the back patio. I looked all around, but the noxious odor would not identify itself. That is, until I went behind the backyard wall to clean the pool filter later this afternoon, and that's when i saw it...what use to be it at least. Rotting bird...identifiable only by it's bony wings. I held my breath and worked as quickly as possible.

Yes, i know the grown up thing to do would be to remove it. Fling it as far as possible into the wild. But come on!! That would require touching it, at least sort of. I'm claiming Female Excusal on this one. There are very few things that having breast will get you out of:

A. any type of gym activity by mentioning the forbidden "P" word to a male coach
or
B. Having to dispose of anything dead

So any who, I finished up my outdoor duties, and as I proceeded to put the lawn mower back in the shed...I saw it! A huge rattlesnake skin!!! I'm talking huge!!! Wedged halfway underneath OUR SHED! I grabbed the lawn mower and got the hell out of dodge! It was ooey and slimy. So, I'm thinking this mammoth snake just slithered out of it's skin moments ago and is hiding behind the shed making plans for dinner. GULP!

Later, after I decided to share this freaky episode with all of you, who obviously care deeply about my sweaty pitted rantings, I thought I'd take a pic of this ferocious snake skin. I leaned over the wall (which is my usual routine before I ever step foot back there) to make sure the DEADLY RATTLER wasn't lying in wait for a tasty human snack. No sign of him, but what did I see?

What...you say? There is more?

OH, is there more!

This tale keeps gettin better!

A Rat! Not a little mouse like rat! A big, ropey tailed, big bellied rat, starring right up at me. So suffice it to say, no picture for you!

Or so I thought.

Justin calls a couple of hours later and asks what I'm up to.  I shared that I'm blogging about this nightmarish critter episode and divulge all the gory details about the gooey snake skin, and how I risked my life to clean the pool, and mow the lawn. And how I'm pretty sure I will need some sort of pampering foot massage, and to be fed grapes while being simultaneously fanned with olive branches or something of the sort.

Gooey was the word that caught his attention. "It was gooey?"
"Yes, I'm telling you...it was slimy cause the thing had obviously just crawled out of it."

When he got home, being the man of the house that he is, he rescued me by putting the lawn mower back in the shed.

Oh let's cut the crap!

All men are still boys who are utterly fascinated by anything gross, dirty or the least bit dangerous. So under the guise of helping me out, he went behind the wall to check out this so called 'gooey snake skin'.

And let me tell you, the reality of the situation was sooooo much more disgusting than previously thought. It wasn't a snake skin. It was THE RATTLESNAKE!!! Rotting in all it's slimy ooey gooey glory. And what I saw was just the tail. This sucker was HUGE!!! Justin was man enough to round the shed and get pics of the whole nasty thing...which because I love you and I know you are dying to see it, I'm posting for you.


Look at that sucker's head!



So now, after this telling tail about real life in the desert, I'm sure I am doomed to dwell alone, without a visitor to my name. All our friends and relatives will remain in the safety of their normal cities, as I become a wild critter tamer who will eventually succumb to sharing our home with snakes (which I will wear around my neck) and the children will ride their wild javelin, Paco, to school everyday.

Oh my! It's late and I think all the adrenaline has gone to my head.

So good night, all. Here's hoping tomorrow isn't nearly as eventful. :  )

Love,
Big Momma Payne

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Hello From the Desert

Hello, Everyone!

We miss you all so very much! We thought this would be a special way to help us all feel more connected. Even though we're only a phone call away, it's just not the same as a good hug or a dinner with family or friends. So I will try to post every couple of weeks with updates and pictures. 

We are living an amazing adventure! Our family has set sail into the unknown, and with every step into uncharted territory, I stand amazed at how full and beautiful and precious this one wild moment really is. Sweet, unforgettable moments that we want to share with all of you...who have cheered us on, loved us every step of the way and taught us to live!

Love,

The Payne's

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