The Great Send Off

It was a big week for us, one of us in particular. Ella made one giant leap into childhood and kissed her sweet little Mimis good bye. 'Mimi' as she so adoringly named her pacifier, has been a very central part of her life since the day she was born.

As time has passed by I knew it was getting closer to leaving the beloved mimi behind, but it was never the right time. We have transitioned so many times in the last year and it didn't seem right for her to be with out  her main stay.

Since we've gotten settled into our new house, we have begun discussions about Mimi Fairies and how they come gather up the Mimis and take them to little fairy babies who really need them. Leaving behind something wonderful for her, of course!

Well, on Saturday night Ella, out of the blue, decided it was time. She buzzed with excitement as she flew about the house gathering them up, while I prepared a beautiful little box for their send off.

I explained that once the fairies had come that the mimis would be gone forever and double checked that she was really ready. My beautiful determined girl was adamant. So, we ventured outside with the box, held hands and sang a song to the Mimi Fairies. We thanked those beloved Mimis for all the comfort they had given Ella over the span of her short life and said good bye.

She went to bed excited and sure of herself without a peep about wanting them with her.

Aiden on the other hand was heart broken. He called me into his room crying.

"Mom, this is a bad idea! We can't give away Ella's mimis. She's going to be sad." he pleaded over and over. And every time he said sad he would start to cry again.

My sweet sensitive boy was dead set against this decision.

The next morning those fairies delivered with craisens and a few m&m's sprinkled in, along with a ticket to build a bear so she could pick out a new sleeping buddy. Aiden of course needed a bear as well for being a great big brother!

The kids had a blast and we headed home with Polka Dot, Aiden's cycodelic bear and Isabear (she came up with that name on her own!) Ella's precious new friend.

It has not been smooth sailing.

Is it ever when we choose to give up something precious to us?

We have had nights spent rocking in Momma's arms as hot tears of regret streamed down my precious angel girl's face. Every mother knows how hard that is to watch.

Aiden has been the scheming big brother, who thinks he has located the tree the Mimi Fairies live in and has told me he's pretty sure he can fly up their and get them back for her.

But it is getting easier...every night it's getting easier.

Aiden pulled me aside the other day for an 'I told you so' talk.

"I knew this was going to happen," he said, his face stern.

"You should have never let her give those away. I knew she was going to be sad."

Leaving the door wide open for one of those teachable moments, I rushed in before it swung shut.

"Aiden," I told him..."Everyone...Ella, Aiden, Mommy and Daddy included has things that we think we need, that we think we can't live without. Sometimes it takes letting those things go to realize we didn't need it in the first place...to realized we are big and strong. Ella is BIG and STRONG and she can do this! And we need to show her we love her by believing that and telling her how big and strong she really is and how very proud of her we are."

My most AMAZING Ella is big and strong! Giving up the Binky can be dismissed as just part of growing up, but it is a BIG DEAL to leave behind the thing you have placed your security in.

She might be three but she is determined and courageous and...

     I am inspired!

I will take that snapshot in my mind of those tiny hands waving a brave good bye and I will treasure it every time I have the opportunity to let go of my security blanket...my plan.

May I always courageously wave goodbye -- in exchange for Growing Big!

Here's to you, my tiny teacher! Thank you so much for the gift of watching you grow into the Amazing person you are!!!

Love,

Big Momma Payne

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That Nasty Little "B" Word

Be Careful!

Watch Out!

Don't do that! You'll hurt yourself!

Be Careful! Be Careful! Be Careful!

Those words seem to echo in the presence of a fearless toddler. Keeping our children safe becomes our #1 priority as parents.

And God forbid you watch the local news!!! (which I no longer do) Unimaginable danger seems to be lurking around every corner, threatening to snatch our precious little people away from us without a moments notice. So we MUST pound this carefulness into them lest something terrible happen. RIGHT???

Note: terrible things never happen to people who are being careful ; )

In this safety crazed, germex driven society we are raising our children in, I am forced to question if we are missing the point.

How many 'Be Careful's' before they are no longer comfortable trying new things?
How many safety precaution's before they start to believe their world is not safe?
How many 'Don't Do That's' till they start believing 'Maybe I can't do it?'

And no, I'm not saying that you shouldn't tell your child not to touch a hot stove or allow him to play with knives. Let's not get crazy here. I'm just saying maybe we should give kids space to try new things, to shock themselves with what they can do.

In our effort to protect our children from danger, could we be instilling in them the most dangerous idea of all, a fear of living, of trying new things, a deep need to stay safely with in their comfort zone, a self doubt that they can do anything...be anyone...accomplish great things???



Last Saturday we hiked at Mt. Lemmon, mostly we drove up the mountain, but we did some pretty intense hiking for a three and four year old. 

view from 8,000 ft. above sea level



Aiden spied a huge pine tree layed over on the mountain.

"Let's go up there, " he screamed.

"Okay, let's do it!" Justin took his hand and they both started up this exceptionally steep hill.

Aiden's sneakers slipped and crunched in the rocks as he slid down every few steps.



"You've got it, Son! You've got it!" Justin was saying, giving him a helping hand if he slid to far down.

The look in that little boy's eyes was like nothing I had ever seen. It was wild and untamed, like he could conquer the world. In that moment I knew it was true.

"I CAN DO THIS," he would holler out, and he was right. He worked and strained and forced himself up the side of that mountain, no matter how many times he slipped or skidded on his britches, till finally he was at the top of that enormous tree with his Dad and a look of absolute victory.

Aiden believed he could climb up that mountain and he believed it because we did too!

If we had been too careful. He would have never had the opportunity to realize what an amazing thing he could accomplish.



looking down from the top of the tree. that's El down there at the bottom. She climbed it too btw. :  )



As parents we have been given the most awesome responsibility to help these little guys grow into the people they were meant to be. I want our kids to know they can change the world.

So while they are still small, still forming this idea of themselves, we choose to plant seeds that will grow into FEARLESSNESS!

May they learn to be BOLD, to scale a mountain in whatever form they come. My hope is that their only fear may be to not live, to not take risks, of not living with an open heart and not loving with their whole soul.

So when we are tempted to beat that "B" word to death, may

We Be Careful of :

• What we say
• The ideas we instill in our children
• The seeds we plant in their beautiful little hearts which will grow to be the foundation of who they are

& Most of all...

• that we are striving and stretching to be a living example of that which we hope to see in them.





Love,

Big Momma Payne

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