The Great Send Off

It was a big week for us, one of us in particular. Ella made one giant leap into childhood and kissed her sweet little Mimis good bye. 'Mimi' as she so adoringly named her pacifier, has been a very central part of her life since the day she was born.

As time has passed by I knew it was getting closer to leaving the beloved mimi behind, but it was never the right time. We have transitioned so many times in the last year and it didn't seem right for her to be with out  her main stay.

Since we've gotten settled into our new house, we have begun discussions about Mimi Fairies and how they come gather up the Mimis and take them to little fairy babies who really need them. Leaving behind something wonderful for her, of course!

Well, on Saturday night Ella, out of the blue, decided it was time. She buzzed with excitement as she flew about the house gathering them up, while I prepared a beautiful little box for their send off.

I explained that once the fairies had come that the mimis would be gone forever and double checked that she was really ready. My beautiful determined girl was adamant. So, we ventured outside with the box, held hands and sang a song to the Mimi Fairies. We thanked those beloved Mimis for all the comfort they had given Ella over the span of her short life and said good bye.

She went to bed excited and sure of herself without a peep about wanting them with her.

Aiden on the other hand was heart broken. He called me into his room crying.

"Mom, this is a bad idea! We can't give away Ella's mimis. She's going to be sad." he pleaded over and over. And every time he said sad he would start to cry again.

My sweet sensitive boy was dead set against this decision.

The next morning those fairies delivered with craisens and a few m&m's sprinkled in, along with a ticket to build a bear so she could pick out a new sleeping buddy. Aiden of course needed a bear as well for being a great big brother!

The kids had a blast and we headed home with Polka Dot, Aiden's cycodelic bear and Isabear (she came up with that name on her own!) Ella's precious new friend.

It has not been smooth sailing.

Is it ever when we choose to give up something precious to us?

We have had nights spent rocking in Momma's arms as hot tears of regret streamed down my precious angel girl's face. Every mother knows how hard that is to watch.

Aiden has been the scheming big brother, who thinks he has located the tree the Mimi Fairies live in and has told me he's pretty sure he can fly up their and get them back for her.

But it is getting easier...every night it's getting easier.

Aiden pulled me aside the other day for an 'I told you so' talk.

"I knew this was going to happen," he said, his face stern.

"You should have never let her give those away. I knew she was going to be sad."

Leaving the door wide open for one of those teachable moments, I rushed in before it swung shut.

"Aiden," I told him..."Everyone...Ella, Aiden, Mommy and Daddy included has things that we think we need, that we think we can't live without. Sometimes it takes letting those things go to realize we didn't need it in the first place...to realized we are big and strong. Ella is BIG and STRONG and she can do this! And we need to show her we love her by believing that and telling her how big and strong she really is and how very proud of her we are."

My most AMAZING Ella is big and strong! Giving up the Binky can be dismissed as just part of growing up, but it is a BIG DEAL to leave behind the thing you have placed your security in.

She might be three but she is determined and courageous and...

     I am inspired!

I will take that snapshot in my mind of those tiny hands waving a brave good bye and I will treasure it every time I have the opportunity to let go of my security blanket...my plan.

May I always courageously wave goodbye -- in exchange for Growing Big!

Here's to you, my tiny teacher! Thank you so much for the gift of watching you grow into the Amazing person you are!!!

Love,

Big Momma Payne